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Tuesday, December 10, 2019

"But I love him oh so much, why doesn't he love me the way I love him?"



If you understand this simple thing here, you will understand quite a bit about life:

People do what they do the way they do it because of who they are and the information they have at the time.


I will say it again:

People do what they do the way they do it because of who they are and the information they have at the time.


With this being said, you have no control over where a person is in their journey. And when you feel as though someone isn't loving you back, that may not quite be so. They simply aren't loving you the way you think they should. Their lack of giving you what you expect does not mean that they do not love you.  People who we love and do not love us back are only demonstrating love in the only way they know-how.

We as humans often make the mistake of coming into a relationship expecting someone to fill a void, mainly when we do not even know what that void is. Then we end up disappointed when they do not and it is not fair to them. We should not expect someone to do things for us that we cannot do for ourselves. This is a mistake. Love and partnerships are about sharing an integration, not leaning. You want your partner to be your partner, not your crutch.

We also make the mistake of desiring someone to remain in our lives forever. At some point, we must catch on to the fact that this simply isn't true. The only person you will always have is yourself. When others come into our lives, we must move forward with the acknowledgment that people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime, they are not there forever.

They are just passing through so you can grow together, learn together, heal together or possibly all three but they will at some point have to depart.
You must understand your own pathology. If you grew up being treated in ways that weren't good for you like people being emotionally unavailable, you will more often than not attract people that recreate your childhood experiences. You tend to become psychologically or emotionally attached to them thinking you can love them enough to get them to behave appropriately.


You must realize these things:

Someone loving you or not loving you the way you need them to is not personal. Again,

People do what they do the way they do it because of who they are and the information they have at the time.

Until you clear yourself and your energy of those emotions attached to those childhood experiences, you will continue to attract people who are emotionally unavailable, betray you and not give you the love you need.

So if you are continuously attracting people who do not love you back you must look at your pathology. Look at how you learned to love, what you expect from love, what you give in return for love what you expect others to do for you and give to you if they love you.

People come and love you in response to the vibrations you send out into the Universe about love.

Find ways to release all your negative energy from your past hurt and disappointments.

Learn what it is to have a reciprocation of love in a relationship, what that should look and feel like. Do not try and make it more complex than it needs to be. Trust your gut as the saying goes. How do you feel when you enter a room with this person, do you feel the energy of love. When you are with this person do you feel loved, do they make you want to be a better woman or man? Do they nurture you, nourish you and bring you peace and joy? Do you have a vision for them and with them? Do they have a vision for you? Do you feel as though you want to be a better person because of this love? Not that you need to be ashamed of any flaws, but do they inspire you to want to be a better person, can you see yourself growing with them?

You do not have to stop loving someone because they are not giving you what you need but you have the right to choose. You can love someone and not be in a relationship with them. Love them and give them the opportunity to find what they need elsewhere and you can do the same.

You do not get to tell people how to love you, people are going to love you based upon the information they have and who they are at the time.

You get to choose if you participate in them not loving you. If you are that attached to this situation to where you are so happy to get a little love, and you have to struggle for that love, just imagine what it will be like when real love comes along and how that will feel!

Why cope with less when you can choose more?

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